Oh system gods above, please do not forget,

I am but a small cell in this cold system of us,

And in the never ending wake of these hard times, 

I have lived so many lives that there is little left inside.

I came to you not from wealth, privilege or knowledge,

But I offered to you my body, family and service to our society.

I know my achievements are little, for I see the lives others live,

But I’ve watched my promised world crumble away hopelessly.

I have seen such dramatic horrors lately that I frighten now easily,

And cried so many hidden sorrows that my face rarely shines brightly.

I have lived with the pains of others, so my mind is always with them,

For I watched my family burn in addiction and was unable to save them.

I have given years of my life to this system that heals only parts of me,

And was born to a worldview that ascribed a psychologist costly suspicion.

I felt abandoned in a time where history replaced shared metaphysical mind,

And in that space, I let myself become consumed on high conspiracy narrative.

I have heard so many promised dreams but have not felt them tangibly realized,

So I keep rushing for loudspeakers to fulfill my darkest self-liberating nightmares.

I have not trusted smiles for so long, because greed always follows in their joyous song,

I am proud, and I have suffered, and none can take that sluggish weight off me in mirth.

And lastly, I know I am cold when you face me, but am so much lighter when I feel a warm hug.

So with this in mind,

When I come to meet your eye, it's to prove I am me, strong and free enough to look in your eye,

So know the character I have to keep playing, to know the way our role-play should be engaging,

For I am so fearful that I came at you swinging, but you are a system god, so why are you fearing?

You do not need to pander to my wordplay or find an argument that bests rusty minded swordplay,

You need to see my character's pain to fully sedate me now, so stop this nervous prancing about me,

Look seriously in my eye, do not flinch till you walk away, solemn your tone, and mimic my steely face, 

And most important to my form of pride, listen very well first, then lean in to explain quite simply after.

For I came to see your fear, I came to make you dance on camera,

I have come as the representation of all my sorrows and delusions,

I want your sputtering to show me you have no solid plans to speak of,

And I will not trust anything you say to me, so why try convince me?

I also will not be the last of these characters to come snub your face.

Instead, I give you a chance to relay your intention, to make a show with me, if you can dance with my character’s broody pace,

I need you to look at my grim and stubborn face and know how much I've been secretly crying for my mindless mistakes,

You cannot win my vote or my favour, I am proud and that you shall never have, but present to me as a great stately caring leader,

One who can see my secret desire for social amnesty, for better living for my family, and relay slow common warmth to my egregiously proud pain,

Not as a quick ruse to win me, but as a way to show my watching people you are genuinely offering ways forward to them that I cannot give them from my hopelessness.

For I am the roughest part of your body that must wrestle its way forward, 

I built the systems with my hand for your mind to live comfortably in, 

So how am I and mine been warmed in our time,

Now knowing why dark depth is in my cold eye?

But look me in my face and stare when I approach you,

To acknowledge the story I feel you've put me through,

And from that steely gaze, tell my family they will be ok.