Hello my anxious eyed kitties and nervous puppies,

All my creepers, peepers, tweakers and stalkers.

I can assure you,

Second hand clothes do not make a stately conspiracy,

Though apparently, I'm a great observational mystery.

But its ok, you make me laugh now,

Because you’re so cutely obvious as you twitch around me.

Get riskier next time, come say say hi, look in my big cat eye,

And see what happens when you open your mouth my way.

I have big scary claws clacking at my side,

But I mostly only meow, pur and sleep all day!